Why being stuck can lead to success

I’ve been talking a lot lately about why it’s so hard to make a change, especially in regards to health-related behaviors like exercise and eating. (If you missed it, you can find the Top 5 Reasons Change is so difficult here: https://milehighandbeyond.com/how-to-beat-your-goals-proven-techniques-for-making-lasting-changes/.) Many people get frustrated with themselves during the process because they know they want to change something (hereafter called IT), but they have a tough time making themselves DO it. Often this results in guilt and blame: guilt because you know you SHOULD be doing something about IT and blame because despite the best intentions, you just can’t seem to make IT happen consistently. This is made even worse because we have an action-oriented view of behavior change in popular culture such that if you aren’t actively doing IT, you aren’t doing anything at all – action is all that counts.

I’m here to tell you how wrong that viewpoint is according to behavioral science. In 1983, James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente created the Stages of Change model to explain how people change. Here are the Six Stages of Change:

  • Precontemplation: You aren’t ready to or don’t intend to change within the next 6 months. You don’t know how to change, are demoralized after repeated failures, and/or defend your current behavior. 
  • Contemplation: You generally intend to take action in the next 6 months. However, you doubt the change will be worth the costs and so delay moving forward because you dread failure. 
  • Preparation: You intend to take action within the next month and start making plans on how to do so.
  • Action: You are actually doing IT, but for less than 6 months. There is a high chance you might recycle to a previous stage in this time.
  • Maintenance: You’ve maintaining a behavior change for 5 years without recycling to a previous stage. 
  • Termination: The change has become such a part of your life that you have no temptation to return to your previous behavior, the confidence you won’t relapse, and that you don’t need to make any effort to keep from relapsing.

Note that this isn’t a linear process where you progress steadily upwards from one stage to the next. Instead, you can spiral from stage to stage and back again.

Pick a behavior and decide where you’re at in the stages of change. For example, my exercise habits are in the termination stage: I’ve been working out for over 5 years and I don’t have any desire to return to my pre-workout days. In contrast, my mindfulness practice is transitioning from preparation to action: I’ve spent the last month deciding how I want to incorporate mindful moments into my routing and have just started executing the plan this week. 

Moving from a lower stage to a higher stage of change takes a tremendous amount of mental work, so even though it doesn’t look like you’re doing IT, you’re actually accomplishing a lot behind the scenes. In fact, you are doubling your chances that you’ll be taking action if you move forward one stage and tripling them if you advance by two stages. So give yourself credit for doing the hard work it takes to progress from the precontemplation stage, which is where we’re all at for a given behavior at some point in time. 

Let me know in the comments which behavior you picked, which stage of change you’re in for that behavior, and why you chose that stage. 

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